Friday 16 April 2010
As we approach May 2010, General Election fever is sweeping the country and recent events mean the Chevron leadership is understood to have been forced into an untimely and unwelcome cabinet reshuffle.
The club's ethos has always to be ensure each player's role is clearly understood and as part of this arrangement Matt McMarmite has in recent years been responsible for Fragility. As part of his duties last month he announced he had torn his rotator cuff following the most fantastic layout grab in the history of ultimate. News from his physio however is that it is not a serious injury and actually "he has just had a bit of a bang on the arm after he fell over." Could it be true that Matt is no longer Fragile?
With the Leadership looking for a new Fragile focus will immediately turn to Dave Barnard who had a previously unblemished record in the post. Barnard is currently Chief Officer for Failed Retirements but is under threat in this capacity following Si Weeks decision to set up permanent home in Manchester.
Rather than lose the position McMetrosexual's office says he is interested in expanding the role - "Fragility can be demonstrated in a wide plethora of ways. From the pure physical ability to break easily to having a fragile sense of humour through and failing to see the funny side of an April Fool's joke." They added "There is no truth in the rumour that McMrMagoo was given the role because no one could be arsed to learn how to spell his surname."
As we go to Press McMightyMouse made a desperate bid to retain his power base – he is reported to have twisted his knee whilst getting off the physio's bed following his shoulder examination and is now waiting for full knee replacement surgery.
Harry